Yattminpom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, capable newt.

Yattminpom created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattminpom, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yattminpom, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yattminpom's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yattminpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always wear fawn.