Quamlatlog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy salamander.

Quamlatlog created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamlatlog, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quamlatlog, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quamlatlog's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Quamlatlog's Holy Commandments

1. Quamlatlog loves cats, so they must be honoured.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Never hurt dogs.