Tonwadflowtinarn Somratxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic shrew.

Tonwadflowtinarn Somratxuck created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonwadflowtinarn Somratxuck, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonwadflowtinarn Somratxuck, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tonwadflowtinarn Somratxuck's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tonwadflowtinarn Somratxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always look after injured horses.