Shavlapsaw is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable warg.

Shavlapsaw created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Shavlapsaw, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Shavlapsaw, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Shavlapsaw's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Shavlapsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Shavlapsaw.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Shavlapsaw.