Hogbestman is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome snake.

Hogbestman created life two years ago.

If you believe in Hogbestman, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hogbestman, it will turn you into a mouse.

Hogbestman's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hogbestman's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mites.

2. Never feed lots of peas to nematodes while wearing orange rings.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Never write about cell theory.