Veenxemvog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful spider.

Veenxemvog created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenxemvog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Veenxemvog, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Veenxemvog's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Veenxemvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Veenxemvog on top of all buildings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Veenxemvog.