Cabzedflab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, clever porpoise.

Cabzedflab created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabzedflab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cabzedflab, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cabzedflab's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Cabzedflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.