Quamgudbet is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awesome dryad.

Quamgudbet created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamgudbet, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quamgudbet, he will have a low opinion of you.

Quamgudbet's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Quamgudbet's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Quamgudbet in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about optics near pigs while wearing violet tights.

3. Quamgudbet must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Put Quamgudbet first in all things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.