Bessfebjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unfair hydra.

Bessfebjarn created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessfebjarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bessfebjarn, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bessfebjarn's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bessfebjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Do not take Bessfebjarn's name in vain.