Artfobtik is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, all-knowing penguin.

Artfobtik created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Artfobtik, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Artfobtik, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Artfobtik's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Artfobtik's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Retreat if three aardvarks approach from the south.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about special relativity near rats while wearing pink skirts.

5. Always look after injured birds.