Larnnurlmad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish sheep.

Larnnurlmad created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Larnnurlmad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Larnnurlmad, it will turn you into a tree.

Larnnurlmad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Larnnurlmad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near squirrels while wearing magenta corsets and balancing nine platinum spheres on your hands.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Never think about special relativity near otters while wearing mauve rings and balancing six aluminium spheres on your head.