Bapgilkon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, caring aardvark.

Bapgilkon created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapgilkon, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bapgilkon, he will laugh at you.

Bapgilkon's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bapgilkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Do not kill sheep.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Bapgilkon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always obey Bapgilkon's priests.

5. Put Bapgilkon first in all things.