Wiktettibopsogyimfutpag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty human.

Wiktettibopsogyimfutpag created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiktettibopsogyimfutpag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wiktettibopsogyimfutpag, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wiktettibopsogyimfutpag's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Wiktettibopsogyimfutpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing black shorts and balancing three titanium spheres on your chest.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.