Stafcenwitjip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm capybara.

Stafcenwitjip created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Stafcenwitjip, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Stafcenwitjip, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Stafcenwitjip's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Stafcenwitjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never feed lots of strawberries to snails while wearing yellow shoes.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away from green whales, for they are unholy.