Garxinlam is a god.
He takes the form of a very large, selfish
zebra.
Garxinlam created bats five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Garxinlam, he will remain indifferent to you.
If you do not believe in
Garxinlam, he will send four elephants to rub you out.
Garxinlam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.
Garxinlam's Holy Commandments1. You must never eat strawberries.
2. Put Garxinlam first in all things.
3. Always pray in complete darkness.
4. Never eat bark.
5. Never eat onions.