Jonmisfet is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, egotistical squid.

Jonmisfet created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonmisfet, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jonmisfet, she will destroy your home planet.

Jonmisfet's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jonmisfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never talk about moths.

3. Always help ants in need.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.