Vonwipbep is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring snail.

Vonwipbep created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonwipbep, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonwipbep, he will not care at all.

Vonwipbep's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Vonwipbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven frogs in a large pit.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonwipbep.