Bastortbat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, witless wolf.

Bastortbat created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastortbat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bastortbat, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bastortbat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bastortbat's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

5. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the east.