Vagontveg is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking swan.

Vagontveg created a photon two years ago.

If you believe in Vagontveg, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vagontveg, she will turn you into a dog.

Vagontveg's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Vagontveg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not eat coconuts.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.