Fidtofmap is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unthinking armadillo.

Fidtofmap created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidtofmap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fidtofmap, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fidtofmap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fidtofmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven tortoises in a large pit.

2. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the north.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fidtofmap.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Hide from cyan geese for they are unholy.