Nurltafkan is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, boastful pig.

Nurltafkan created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurltafkan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nurltafkan, it will have a low opinion of you.

Nurltafkan's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Nurltafkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to aardvarks while wearing fawn trousers.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Nurltafkan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink alcohol.