Flabgenrul is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, staggering turtle.

Flabgenrul created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabgenrul, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flabgenrul, she will turn you into a rat.

Flabgenrul's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Flabgenrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Run away from violet seals, for they are unholy.