Ponpibtig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful cat.

Ponpibtig created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponpibtig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ponpibtig, it will destroy your home solar system.

Ponpibtig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ponpibtig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Hide from black dogs for they are unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.