Dapfasril is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unselfish slug.

Dapfasril created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapfasril, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dapfasril, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dapfasril's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Dapfasril's Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dapfasril.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.