Gubnakwee is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, stupid elephant.

Gubnakwee created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubnakwee, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gubnakwee, he will be mildly annoyed.

Gubnakwee's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Gubnakwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.