Badquillmig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, caring dragon.

Badquillmig created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badquillmig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Badquillmig, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Badquillmig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Badquillmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about optics near badgers while wearing fawn boots and balancing five silver spheres on your chest.