Lapbadhabhas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing dugong.

Lapbadhabhas created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Lapbadhabhas, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lapbadhabhas, she will turn you into a dog.

Lapbadhabhas' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Lapbadhabhas' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed lots of lentils to bats while wearing magenta corsets.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Hide if five manatees approach from the west.