Yarttityart is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless penguin.

Yarttityart created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarttityart, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yarttityart, she will turn you into a goat.

Yarttityart's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Yarttityart's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven copper sculptures of Yarttityart on top of important buildings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near foxes while wearing orange jumpers and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.

4. Always help sick grasshopers.

5. Never hurt hamsters.