Bidquimrillrap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful troll.

Bidquimrillrap created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bidquimrillrap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bidquimrillrap, he will laugh at you.

Bidquimrillrap's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bidquimrillrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Retreat if four snakes approach from the north.

3. Hide from pink aardvarks for they are unholy.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not stand on grass.