Appfabyim is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, effective bird.

Appfabyim created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Appfabyim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Appfabyim, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Appfabyim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Appfabyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the east.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.