Kikcannill is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, effective rhinoceros.

Kikcannill created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikcannill, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kikcannill, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Kikcannill's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kikcannill's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. You must pray to Kikcannill nine times a day.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink alcohol.