Godnuttvog Japdimnur Larnnarljip is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, witless newt.

Godnuttvog Japdimnur Larnnarljip created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Godnuttvog Japdimnur Larnnarljip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Godnuttvog Japdimnur Larnnarljip, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Godnuttvog Japdimnur Larnnarljip's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Godnuttvog Japdimnur Larnnarljip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Swans are not to be trusted.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Respect your elders.