Carquimtarp is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tranquil dragonfly.

Carquimtarp created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Carquimtarp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Carquimtarp, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Carquimtarp's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Carquimtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve horses, for they are unholy.

2. Never paint your face white.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.