Weevencennab is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, fussy goose.

Weevencennab created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Weevencennab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Weevencennab, she will send you a sign.

Weevencennab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Weevencennab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think about dark energy near snakes while wearing green skirts and balancing six zinc spheres on your feet.

5. Never eat coconuts.