Cemsawpid is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, conceited ferret.

Cemsawpid created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemsawpid, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemsawpid, she will remove you from existence.

Cemsawpid's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cemsawpid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Horses are not to be trusted.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.