Mobkamced is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish raven.

Mobkamced created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobkamced, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mobkamced, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Mobkamced's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Mobkamced's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing mauve kilts and balancing seven copper spheres on your hands.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.