Yoknillfut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered guinea pig.

Yoknillfut created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yoknillfut, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yoknillfut, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yoknillfut's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yoknillfut's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yoknillfut first in all things.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near nematodes while wearing purple boots.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. You must never eat garlic.

5. Never mention goats.