Minfutyok is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful cow.

Minfutyok created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minfutyok, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Minfutyok, she will destroy your home planet.

Minfutyok's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Minfutyok's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Worship no other gods but Minfutyok.

5. Do not stand on grass.