Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, cheerful pig.

Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom, she will turn you into a sheep.

Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stipvagtarp Cussinomtgom.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.