Zogstanran is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, pitiless hippopotamus.

Zogstanran created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogstanran, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zogstanran, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zogstanran's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Zogstanran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not keep seven mice in a large pit.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to porpoises while wearing pink shoes.