Ganarpvol is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, competent bear.

Ganarpvol created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Ganarpvol, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ganarpvol, he will ignore you.

Ganarpvol's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ganarpvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never chant near mice.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near badgers while wearing cyan boots and balancing six copper spheres on your neck.