Cumkan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome manatee.

Cumkan created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cumkan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cumkan, it will turn you into a duck.

Cumkan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cumkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. You must pray to Cumkan four times a day.