Gatgubpad is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, moody bee.

Gatgubpad created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatgubpad, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gatgubpad, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gatgubpad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gatgubpad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gatgubpad.

2. Gatgubpad loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed aubergines to aardvarks while wearing brown shorts.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gatgubpad.