Cepnurtnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish aardvark.

Cepnurtnurt created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Cepnurtnurt, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cepnurtnurt, she will have a low opinion of you.

Cepnurtnurt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cepnurtnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never paint your face magenta.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.