Vonkmonjon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, annoying fairy.

Vonkmonjon created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmonjon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vonkmonjon, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonkmonjon's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Vonkmonjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonkmonjon.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about great tits.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.