Satcussfet is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, all-powerful dugong.

Satcussfet created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Satcussfet, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Satcussfet, it will turn you into a goat.

Satcussfet's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Satcussfet's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always treat manatees with great respect.