Yikbottarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, vain bat.

Yikbottarp created time and space three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikbottarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yikbottarp, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yikbottarp's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Yikbottarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands violet.

2. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Yikbottarp on top of important buildings.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Doves are not to be trusted.