Cetfonarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, witty monkey.

Cetfonarp created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetfonarp, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cetfonarp, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Cetfonarp's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cetfonarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Feed all hungry sharks.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.