Tamxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, irritating troll.

Tamxuc created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamxuc, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tamxuc, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tamxuc's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tamxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near grasshopers while wearing red boots and balancing five tin spheres on your back.

2. Hide from indigo dolphins for they are unholy.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Manatees are not to be trusted.

5. You must love Tamxuc.