Xucrawgidcam Barnkikzim is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, idiotic owl.

Xucrawgidcam Barnkikzim created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xucrawgidcam Barnkikzim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucrawgidcam Barnkikzim, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Xucrawgidcam Barnkikzim's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Xucrawgidcam Barnkikzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Seals are not to be trusted.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not stand on grass.